There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
