sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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