god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
