Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
