My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
