from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize