i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
