woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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