IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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