You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
