Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
