I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
