I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
