How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
