are you so shy because you have an std?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
