garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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