she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
