all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
