Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
