So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
