that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
