Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
