I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
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