the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
