I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
there is glitter all over my balls
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
