I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
