I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
