i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize