In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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