Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
