I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
