Where are you?
In a non slutty way
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
