The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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