O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
