"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
