dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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