fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Found the puke drawer
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
