Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
