shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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