we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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