I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
