Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
