I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I need help removing her.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
