She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
