New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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