under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
