I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
