I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
