Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We are two peas in an std pod
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
