FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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