my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
