And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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