why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
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