Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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