I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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