My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
