All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
