I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize