GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
