Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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