I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
