I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
