butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
