You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
