Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
