my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize